Unpopular Opinion: Pixar’s Loop is a Dangerous Short Movie

So Firstly I will say happy autism awareness month. Sorry, I don’t celebrate the autism week. That is down to everyone celebrates a week then forgets us, so If you remind people that it is autism awareness month, it seems a bigger problem.

Aside from that as it is Autism awareness month I thought I would watch some autism movies, as I normally do, I was hoping to watch Music, but that happened…. So I thought everyone in the autism community keeps talking about Loop and well I’m bored why not. So then I watched it.

For context Loop is a Disney Pixar SparkShorts, this is what usually shows in front of a Pixar movie, like Cars, Toy Story or Inside out. It is about a non-verbal autistic girl, called Renee, going on a ‘canoe trip’ with another child who is neurotypical called Marcus.

This is the lens I am looking through: I am an Autistic person, with Asperger’s. If I wasn’t taught to speak I would have been labelled as non-verbal, I still have a few of my vocal chords missing, hence why when I do podcasts my cadence is a bit off. I have been paddling for 11 years. I am 3* canoeist, A level 1 coach and race in canoes. Canoeing is pretty much my life. So this should be right up my street.

So why do I think it is dangerous. Its only 11 minutes, how much could go wrong in 11 minutes? Apparently a lot. So to start of with the camper leader/ worker who is meant to be with the autistic person decides to let another child go in the canoe with Renee. To us the audience we don’t know if Marcus knows if she even has autism. The change here is subtle for neurotypicals but is big for us. It’s a line ‘I’m putting you with someone new’. That should have triggered something, its new, different but it didn’t. So either they are portraying Renee as someone who can cope with change or somewhat not aware of her surroundings, for autistic standards that’s not the best start…. It carries on, Marcus is paddling the canoe, which is odd because even though Renee has autism, she still should be able to paddle the canoe, or why else is she on the water. The ways Renee communicates is an app on her phone, REMEMBER THAT, so she somewhat tricks Marcus to paddle more to the reeds so she can feel them whilst the canoe is moving. So if you aren’t aware of why Renee is doing this then you are at a complete loss. So allow me to help, this is a form of stimming this form is where an outside object in this case a reed creates a stimulating feeling for Renee this can help concentration, be a way of calming down or just because they want to feel something that isn’t skin. This counts as stimming, before anyone argues with me, as it is self-stimulation so like tap the tip of my fingers, Renee uses the reeds to do exact same thing. Marcus decides to go with it as he feels out towards the reeds, Renee has used her phone the play another stimulus, a noise of a dog barking, Marcus notices that she enjoys the sound. So they paddle to a bridge or a tunnel of some kind so Renee can experience the noise echoing. Renee is either not letting on that she understands how echoes work, considering it is a sensory stimulus, or at this point she is just labelled as dumb and didn’t know that there was anywhere that could echo, but she has been out before and if that is the case then surely it would have been catalogued as a place to check out or was known to be good or bad. So something there doesn’t add up. Then a powerboat, a motorise boat, you hear it before you see it, although it also makes an echo which Renee doesn’t like Marcus doesn’t understand Renee paddles out of the tunnel; finally she can paddle. Then Marcus has to stop the canoe running into the powerboat. This somehow causes a meltdown. Marcus in avoiding the dangers crashes the canoe then he shouts at her not understanding that she is having a meltdown. Then she throws her phone in the water and tips the canoe on top of her and hides. So now the way she has been communicating can no longer works. Then we see Marcus waiting the time is staggered so we don’t actually know if Marcus picks up the phone or if has been waiting for 5 minutes or 5 hours. Guessing I would say hours as the sun was setting. So for people who maybe a little lost no adult has seen an autistic girl with no way of getting help for hours. Anyway Marcus somehow gets wise at this point although it feels more like false smarts, as he says that he is just going to waited, where they have crashed there is no way of getting help so of course he is going to have to wait the only of way is if he starts swimming leaving her alone with a canoe. Eventually Renee calms down and her and Marcus get back in the canoe and its ends with them headed back to camp.

So here are my feelings about this. Let’s be honest they aren’t good at the minimum in the real world that would be child endangerment. This isn’t the real world so is it good for people who are autistic? In my opinion, no. Just no. I can’t help but wonder if Renee’s level of autism, where she is on the spectrum, kept changing to fit the story. The only thing that was the same was that she was non-verbal, yes non-verbal’s can speak, they can’t speak full sentences, or their words are limited so saying woof woof is fine. The issues are that the exposition around this was sorely lacking, so what we didn’t know as audience was a lot. They never mention that Renee was autistic either. So she could have been labelled as just someone who is to dumb to speak. To me that hurtful. Pixar should at least given time to mention Renee was autistic. Also they never went near the group of children on the water already, so again why not? Pixar had a chance and somehow the animated canoe holds more water than Loop. Also do we even get an idea why it was called loop? As most shorts or SparkShorts you can see why they have their name one man band, Purl and Lava to name a few.

Pixar claim its ground breaking as it features there first non-verbal autistic character, well where is there first autistic. I have watch all the Pixar movies and shorts. There is no mention of autism anywhere in them. So what is the chance they have done this to score extra brownie points with the autism community. I would call it ground breaking if it was a full feature length movie, but it was less then 11 minutes with no mention of autism and all they shown was that if a girl has autism they can’t speak, and they can be manipulating to get people to do things for them. If Renee was non-verbal and Marcus was high-functioning or had Asperger’s I could understand it being ground breaking, but all movies or shorts that feature autism focus on one person one view people.

So the positives, yes there are some. If you stuck around to the end then you would have found out that Renee now has a friend to paddle with. That is a big plus, although they should this by her phone turning on, which you last see being chucked in the river. It shows someone who isn’t white with autism, which I will admit is new. Then it shows someone autistic doing a sport, which is always good to see.

The issues I have with this far outweigh the good things. It somehow just feels as too convenient at times. Plus the issues around autism are a pain, but if they are done correctly autism communities could have used it as a way of showing that they aren’t dumb and [ insert stereotype here] instead we are left with something that is in my opinion just misses music, but Rainman holds better expectations then some that is 30 odd years newer then this. Its worrying as so far any film with autism can’t even get basics right. Now Pixar had a shot, and they did SparkShort.

If you like any of this type of blog please like, share, and comment below. What is your opinion on loop?

Toxic Idolisation

There is something concerning when people you look up to get ill or sick. It is especially bad when they can’t be there because of those reasons. We are all now being told to not be in front of screens or cameras as much as these are bringing on more mental health issues. So why are Idols any different? I trying to ask this in a considerate way. As I’m a BLINK lets start there, we have photoshoots, magazine covers, Music teasers, Music videos, lifestyle/ ‘Real life’ videos (BlackPink house or more recently 24/365), VLive (a livestreaming app), plus the usual media like fans taking photos, the press, and live events. Then we have the weird like the stalkers and the idiots hurling abuse at the Idols. All of these usually involve either a screen or a camera, normally both. Then you have the ‘fans’ that are toxic towards their band or idols, because they are looking through all the lens that people have put around them.  

The best ones to prove that at the moment was TWICE, I know I am talking about a different band that isn’t BlackPink. [Shock] Anyway sarcasm aside, you had an Idol who has only who came back to TWICE on 31st Jan, after a 3 month break. That a 3 month break from everything above you have just read. I don’t think most people could even handle this for a month so to have years of this is saying something. In BLINK news we had an Idol outed for dating someone, which really. Then You have ITZY, poor Innocent ITZY, having to go through this plus school when they first debuted, I think Yuna is still is. Please correct me if I’m wrong. Imagine the pressures of that going to school knowing that your name could be recognised worldwide. The issues that must cause. Then we have Aespa, the newest group on here, they haven’t really been at this long enough to have any real issues as they debuted in November last year. The trouble is I think it could be worse for them. They are doing everything I have mentioned plus more, the trouble with having a worldwide following is that at least one fan is awake wherever they are, or not. So it my be 3am KST but somewhere else its 1pm. To counter this the Idols or their companies are stepping up things so that no fan is left behind.

This kinda helps my point, slightly. I don’t know who discission it was, but I think I do. ITZY decided to learn English to help talk to their global fans. I don’t have to worry too much BlackPink could already speak English… other then Jisoo, but she is getting there. Anyway running of topic. The turned into English lessons, which got video, that turned into a Song which then had to promote, which turn into a livestream event. Then that turn into an album then more promoting. A couple months down the line I got turned into a Live fan event, which I’m guessing got promoted, to another song. All of this involved cameras and screens. If we were resolute fans, surely we would be making sure that they were safe and  whatever they did it isn’t going to be causing health issues.

To help with perspective these idols aren’t like what we have here in the West we have pop artists, they post on social media, they release a song if they want/ contracted to, then they have fans saying if they love or hate it. Normally these people are around 24 to say 28, when they start, I know some are younger and some are old, it is just a rough guess.

These Idols could be training with a studio like YG Entertainment, JYP Entertainment or SM for up to 10 years! Most will not make it to debut, so that ten years has been wasted, the best they may be is a backup dancer if they are lucky. When they are selected to debut everything changes, they are now shown how to do VLive chats, they do dozens of media events to announce to the world that they are here. There image is on there first song, so in BlackPink case it was Boombayah, hence BlackPink in your area, because they debuted as a K-Pop band that was meant reach place no K-pop group ever really did. ITZY, they debuted as characteristics; empowerment & being you. With albums like IT’Z Different. You can see where JYPE edged their bets. Then from there you have the barrage of cameras and screens from fans to people who completely hate the band, because some people can’t control their jealously. Then Idols host certain event like awards shows, they are in TV shows, like Jisoo finally is getting an acting part in a K-Drama. Then you have them talking and reacting to the fans. I would love to see Western artist put with the same amount of work, there may be a few but all Idols do this, some even move country to become an Idol.

The amount of things in front of them and then some fans or just people complain when the band is missing a member, or that something should have been release, but hasn’t. Fans of the Idols sometimes get so invested in the band that they forget that the band is meant to have a life away from everything. I’m saying this as BLINK so please don’t shoot me; I really don’t want to see more thing like BlackPink House and some of what was in BlackPink Diaries, sorry I don’t know what the other band do, when we saw them living together, eating where there was either a camera already there or a camera following them around. I’m not saying to change the culture around Idols overnight or much at all, but just remember that Idols, although us K-Pop fans may argue who is the best dancers, singers, and rappers. That these Idols are still people they are meant to have a life they are prone to having weird human blips of ill health or mental health issues, for it only to get worse because us as fans are fussing over it because we think X or Y. At the end of it all, we have seen where this could go, just a few months we were reminded of this. There have been a spate of Idols or ex-idols committing suicide or at least trying to. As fans surely we don’t want this so, if they are on VLive, ask how they are you never know what could come of it. If there are lots of people trolling them report them. At least show that some fans care about the people we idolise health and wellbeing.

I know it feels like a heavy post, so there will be lighter ones to come.

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Waves of Bricks [A Poem]

There’s a brick wall around me, not just from staring; but from trying to understand me. 

I would breakout if I knew where I was, or I had a heading. 

As the waves rollover I’m all at sea.

Lost in infinity. Found in a whirlpool of my own making.

I see ships sail past- also at sea, with no one at home; even when we can’t leave our homes.

The ship gets caught in the whirlpool of my own making.

I try and heave to. I get slung from midship to aft.

As if I was back in the past. 

My Port becomes a hole and my Starboard becomes a pane. 

As my ship colliding it’s way through the seven seas, is now my home.

From now what feels like infinity.

by AGecko (The Autistic Gecko)

As the author of this if you want to share or use elsewhere please ask for consent before use. Therefore as its orginal author reseve the right to withdraw this poem from the blog.

Anxiety‌ ‌and‌ ‌Me‌ [A Poem]

Anxiety‌ ‌and‌ ‌me,‌ ‌or‌ ‌do‌ ‌you‌ ‌disagree?‌

Endless‌ ‌panic‌ ‌attacks‌ ‌and‌ ‌dread‌

It‌ ‌means‌ ‌I ‌really‌ ‌struggle‌ ‌to‌ ‌go‌ ‌bed‌

Constantly‌ ‌worrying‌ ‌about‌ ‌“dizzy‌ ‌spells”‌

The‌ ‌feeling‌ ‌like‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌floating‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌middle‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌ ‌stormy‌ ‌sea‌

Anxiety‌ ‌and‌ ‌me‌

Even‌ ‌the‌ ‌palms‌ ‌of‌ ‌my‌ ‌hands‌ ‌are‌ ‌crying‌

Why‌ ‌does‌ ‌it‌ ‌feel‌ ‌like‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌dying‌

Anxiety‌ ‌and‌ ‌me‌

I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌know‌ ‌why‌

It‌ ‌makes‌ ‌no‌ ‌sense‌

I‌ ‌just‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌feel‌ ‌something‌ ‌less‌ ‌intense‌

Breathe‌ ‌in‌ ‌and‌ ‌breathe‌ ‌out‌

I’ll‌ ‌be‌ ‌fine‌ ‌without‌ ‌a‌ ‌doubt‌

Anxiety‌ ‌and‌ ‌me‌

I’m‌ ‌getting‌ ‌there,‌ ‌but‌ ‌where?‌

I‌ ‌know‌ ‌that‌ ‌people‌ ‌care‌

Breathe‌ ‌in…‌ ‌1,2,3‌

Anxiety‌ ‌and‌ ‌me‌

By Immi

This was given to me with consent from its author. If you want to share or use elsewhere please ask for consent before use. Therefore either myself or its orginal author reseve the right to withdraw this poem from the blog.

Now A New Issue Has Been Found

So finally it was here then it was gone in the most instantaneous way possible. Music… was here then promptly gone. Yes I know I am late in reporting it, but also not. It nice to let thing mature at time and boy this one was fun. So if you want scores, the rotten tomatoes score are this. The critic score 11% and the audience score is 22%. The one of the critics reviews was this remark ‘Offensive in its depiction of autism — and painfully misguided in essentially every respect — Music is a vanity project that begs to be turned down’. Soo… yeah… I think the hope went long ago especially when more and more things came out. So I can’t be that bad? Most autism films depict autism poorly, well Rainman score was this Critically 89% and audience scores of 90%. Apparently this is a poor movie about autism; so what does this say about Music? Did it help that part of the autism community called for a boycott of the movie, no although most people I’m guessing would not have heard that. Does it help that big charities and their bandwagons followed with pitchforks and torches before we knew the whole picture; definitely not. The one thing that could have helped weirdly was kindness, the thing that autism community actually asks for and can’t actually do. I just don’t mean the #ActuallyAutistic people, or those who want us to just be the same as everyone else overnight. I also mean the big charities, like The National Autistic Society.

Why am I calling them out? Well music as I may have reported when I first knew about it. Even then it had been in planning for three years. That is three years that we could as a community said be a part of us, learn how we see things. Instead we criticise when no knows what it is like unless you are autistic- actually scratch that. As it goes we are divided down to everything from the amount of help we receive in school to the treatment we get in a cell. Some back our main charities, whilst others don’t not because they don’t want to; but instead they don’t because they don’t speak for them.

So was music a failure because it was a bad movie and more a of a vanity project? Yes it kinda was. Could of the autism community help three years ago with this vanity project? Yes, instead we are doing everything to attack now when we can’t do anything.  Normally actors will research whatever they are covering, but I’m guessing for this the community shut down and didn’t allow them in.  I do think the team around music mostly likely did a lot of research via Wikipedia or autism speaks, but remember it is still down to the larger community to point people to the right information, not the slanderous things that can be put on a page that anyone can put on their. There are lots of proud Auties, Aspies and [insert label here]. So what happened to all of their voices?

So let’s take Music as a lesson. From the idea to the creation this is where everyone needs to learn how autistic people don’t just fall through the cracks, they are misrepresented, unheard, ignored and mocked for who they are. That is just the day to day things, we are subject to abuse, attacks and stereotyping beyond most other types of communities. This why the UK started putting things in 10 years ago. The other powerhouses such as the USA, EU and China don’t have anything like this. Although it isn’t enough, it is better then everything else in Europe, even in the world. It has its short falls, but it allows some protection. Although another short fall may have presented itself through music, that being the idea of profiting of autism or even things such as films being made to use someone from that community to allow it into this country.  This may sound petty, but is it really?

The idea of someone autistic being portrayed by someone autistic. Sounds right surely. Although I know there are more issues to content with. The idea of communicating, lighting and even making the actor/actress understand what they are acting out. Alas that not how the world thinks, as the movie that was about autism, but didn’t have an autistic actor was nominated for a golden globe. Just how? This is how the world sees different things such as autism. Through other neurotypicals. Is this safe? Not really? Is this healthy? Definitely. Is this what autistic campaigns have been against since Rainman? Excatamondo.

I am different to most people on the spectrum for a number of reasons one being that I am passionate about helping others, even if that means putting me in harms way. I understand different cultures and beliefs; I even somewhat can understand the difference between people on the spectrum and neurotypicals and adjust accordingly. The issues are that neurotypical people never adjust for us, we have to ask, sue, or fight to be heard or that we exist. This is what fuel a lot of divide between neurotypical and the autism community. The idea that autism needs a movie about a non-verbal autistic played by a child star who is known not to be in any form of autism circle. Then to add insult to this no music from it links to how anyone with autism perceive any issue around us. Its very neurotypical. Its link our Prime minister asking if he can speak for the opposition so he can give his own views on how he is doing. Its not hard to ask, we don’t bite… much; well not now we don’t. Also we are not mind readers, this was happening for years and no one noticed.

It shows were our society is it understands the basics of health and physical needs but as soon as someone questions why the way they people are panic and single us out. In a time were differences and diversity are being celebrated why isn’t it happing with us? Is it because we are too different or too alike? Whichever it is it needs to be clarified because if more things like this movie happens then we as a community need to be consulted as we are just left to free fall through societal cracks which have been left open globally.

A Month Long Catch-up (HI!)

Hello Again,

Yes it has been awhile. A long while. Things have been piling up from University to some of my volunteering work to just life in general, so I haven’t made a lot of time for this. It doesn’t help when I go to write a script and I have gone into a meltdown. Which is not the best way to start anything.

So let’s catch everyone up. Its been a little over a month. So I found out a week ago that some nitpin stopped so of my benefits, because I missed appointment because I was having a meltdown and phasing and they don’t think about phoning twice? There is a reason why people such as myself find people hard it isn’t the infinite possible that comes from not having a system, but it is also comes from people who don’t understand that when we say phone twice, or there was a reason things have been left that they are left until a face to face meeting, which I’m guessing at least in the UK would mean June, July at the earliest? Is it that hard to wait until then?- Anyway rant over, I will be talking about this later.

I have a few posts which I meant to put up but just haven’t. So they will be edited with the appropriate time marks. Yes one is about Music and No not of them are going talking about the royal interview; I maybe British the issue I have this is a space for people who have disabilities, Neurodiverse or whatever you class yourself as. As this doesn’t put any issues on that I am going straight past it.

I have watched WandaVision, expect a few Marvel things to come from this.

Star Wars, I fell a bit behind on after all I am reading books, plus  university work and everything. So When I can catch up me and Marvin will be back on those.

So I got my first vaccine about a week ago now; The Oxford/AstraZeneca one, not the Pfizer or Johnson and Johnson. . As I am seen to have a underlaying health condition or as everyone calls it- Autism. So if people want me to talk about that please say. That will be by demand only.

I have trying to plan for things after the pandemic, which like I have already said is going to be around the June/July timeframe even then everyone isn’t too sure so I’m hoping to do some Comic-Con things in September fingers crossed.

So the next one is K-pop yes… again mixed things here. So as a fellow Blink I will talk about the album and then again, whenever it actually arrives as the physical album was an ordeal to get in the UK. But that will be another thing. Also I actually want to talk about some other bands, TWICE and ITZY- BOTH JYPE companies and Aespa, Which is SM, so that will be interesting…

Then finally we have some things that I didn’t think I would actually have to say. So, Anti-Vaccers please stop pedalling on the Autism boat- if you keep pushing on it I am just going to assume that you are jealous that we have some remarkable skills. Also I don’t like it but the issues around how the public sees autism at the moment is appealing, its always been bad, but its now got worse. So I think I am luck because, I have people who help we shout. The issue is what happens to those who can’t even do that. So over the last month or so. I have been talked down to, been told to stop thinking in a certain way, been borderline verbally abused on the phone and had people hint at me to stop ‘putting it on’. This has been people in the wild, everyone here has been nice; quiet, but nice. Almost all of these have been people within a level of power. This is now getting ridiculous we are meant to be setting examples of how go we can be in health care, social care but we can’t be if people in power keep attacking people on the spectrum. So please, if someone says they have autism give them space to talk and make them feel safe because that’s when you get their best work.

I hopefully have some podcast things coming out shortly, so please don’t abandon all hope just yet. I was going to make one earlier this month until or my driver went kaput and took a week to fix, so scripts are being written and things are happening, just not at the speed I was hoping for.

Anyway I am going to close off by saying thank you to everyone that has been following since my month long break. Thank you to everyone that has kept sharing some of my posts *Cough* Autism Candles *Cough* and thank you to everyone that has been liking my posts, I know it seems small but everyone of these likes puts a smile on my face, but also it does let me know what style people like more. I am not really going to change much, but if people like my spoofs of things then I may do more. If you like the things I do with K-Pop then I will do more.

One that please like, follow, and share with people if you do like the content. Thank you in advance I will hopefully be back soon and won’t be missing for another month. AG:)

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

So firstly, I want to ask a question. Is my life a joke? Is it somehow a walking comedy sketch? Okay that was two questions. I’m only asking this as I had to talk to me new job person. I actually tried to find their job role and I can’t find it. Anyway they are meant to help me look for a job… there are some issues with this.

  1. I am locked out of my account since March last year, I have told said people for that year that my account is locked, but still nada.
  2. Here in the UK we still have something called lockdown and a pandemic. I know it is going down but pushing people into work when I can barley leave the house for face a fine… or a virus. I think I am going to stick to self-preservation.
  3. I am autistic, with several other health disorders, businesses don’t want me. I scare them they have adapt to the times and actually be progressive. To them that means more money than I am worth
  4. I am still doing my degree; I am a year away from completing it… and this leads into many jobs. As umm… Psychology is needed for lots of things like healthcare, advertising, human resources and for some reason management people also want it. There is more of an incentive to staying put then be surrounded by people then leave them as things get settled.
  5. As I am autistic, there are some barriers people still don’t understand, like for example no really like humans, emotions, touching, eye contact and the fact that I may talk a little different… okay very different then most people.

So most of these issues are fine. They can be taught, given laws/ incentives and they could just fix my account.

Nope. When I told my new work coach…thingy that I was autistic. I got the oddest response ever. ‘Have you got a doctor’s note that can prove it?’ I mean what? When did you need a doctor’s note to prove your autistic? I mean I get the assessment, but that really!? So for those who may not have this, or it could just be a very English way around. To prove that you have multiple issues you need a GP, General Practitioner/family Doctor, to say that you have these issues. It could literally say:

“Dear X

A Gecko has ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, what had contributed to other issues.

Signed A Doctor”

I negated the time part on here, but that’s most of it in one. How does that prove I am autistic?

Why was I laughing so much, instead of being angry?

Well it may have something to do with they knew nothing about me. They knew my name, roughly how old I am, and I think that was it.  So the idea that if I don’t whose phoning I may not pick up the phone unless you phone twice in a row. The idea that I maybe autistic, but have a working knowledge of Law, high level physics and Psychology; and we were still on the same talking point. Why don’t you do office work, use could do data software coding. Why does this keep happening?

As soon as I mention me being autistic and that I’m job searching data software comes up. Actually for all of the times it has been mentioned to me I could of wrote a code that actually says, ‘please stop asking me to code’. They think they are helping as its away from people; actually you are alienating people even more.  If I twitch in a shop, security gets called. If I twitch in a place of work, I can teach people that its normal for me. That then helps more people become more understanding of ASD. So again WHY SOFTWARE CODING!?

Anyway where was I oh yep- mocking the afflicted. The job centre is okay, if you have a physical appearance of an issue, like an addiction, or wheelchair bound or even if you have a meltdown. I know they are better then 99% of places as they understand you can’t call security when you are having a meltdown. They just taser you. If you have something like Down’s Syndrome, Dyslexia, or something like Bipolar. Then you have an issue. As they work pretty much of a script. So when you ask them a question they sound like Siri having a nervous breakdown. I asked if I could get my account sorted I got told to phone someone else who job it was. For context, this is the person I am meant to come to if I have any issues, apparently unless it is tech based… . So… Why are they still around then. I understand they have their jobs after the pandemic but when everything is digital at the moment they have little to no use. My Google home, which is not plugged in has more use then they do, that’s because I can talk to it and it sounds like a human. I talk to them and a get a bad impersonation of someone who is autistic. I wonder if that how’s Siri feels when listening to Alexa, sorry when I have mentioned to main AI’s then I kinda have to mention that one.

So the main issue is always going to be that the idea of a sick note is bad. The idea of using this to explain autism, is just terrible. It’s like the Templar Knights in full battle armour stampeding through a zen garden. Like its meant to be nether the twain shall meet; yet.. they have and it’s just awful,  the add salt into the wounds you can’t add you assessment documents because they don’t understand what they can learn from that what they don’t from the doctors note. I mean really. Unless the poor doctor has stayed up to write about 10 -12 pages just on the autism part, not to mention any other issues they may have.  Then they have to add the recommendation… this system don’t work. If someone is faking back injuries fine I get it, but no one is faking autism. We get shunned, attacked and we even hurt ourselves- mostly unintentionally, but that still hurts.

I have not seen someone do the night time, daytime if they weren’t me. Just so everyone understands, I will leave a link here for it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln2Xq8fCNI8

Saying that a lot from this program became my tics, saying that so do part of UP. If I just says squirrel and I will leave a link for that as well… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Faa2dHJNFqQ

All I can say is why would anyone fake these, when I’m confused,  I keep say ditto. As in the Pokémon.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSzsVcPjj70 – its not the best, but it somehow does its purpose. So why do people think they are going to fake autism? Just so them the frog book we have from getting assessed that will prove if they are or not. A doctor’s note means nothing more then you have seen a doctor and they have written you a note and now you have a piece of paper and about £25 to £50 out of pocket.  This is because we have to pay to get a doctor note.

Anyway I think I have rambled for way too long.

If you somehow like what I have said then please like, share it or comment below.


Live BLACKPINK Concert In Your Area

OMG! OMG! OMG! It’s now here, or it was here. BLACKPINK was in your area. BLACKPINK were back for their first concert of the year. Although slightly different. It was completely virtual. So they were on a stage somewhere in South Korea, Seoul I’m guessing?  I am in the UK watching it from my house. So it was on at 2pm KST, Korean Standard Time. So that make it 5 in the morning here in the UK. Everything kicked off an hour before. So let’s change that to 4 in the morning. So this Gecko should be tired after not really having any sleep. I meant to be… I should be but I’m not I am so hyped about this. This was my first concert and mainly down to companies not understanding how a over sensory stage works it will most likely be my only one. I mean at points there was a lot of lights flashing and it was very OTT for my senses, for about 5 minutes from an hour and half performance. For me it was quite literary magical. We got to see some more Solos from not just Jennie, but everyone; Jisoo, Lisa and Rosé. I mean I can not put it in words enough. You have made a me lose my mind, over and over and over and over again. With each solo it wasn’t a song more a spectacle. From the song writing, to the outfits, to just… everything. I was surprised by Jisoo’s Solo. That was… I don’t know the best word- Bittersweet? I think. Jennies new rap, I mean it just fits her so well; almost as much as Chanel does. Rosé’s song… all I can say is wow; Sucker-punch. So I have limited emotions and even I am getting drawn in by just the emotional weight of it. It’s a perfect type song for Rosé. The video was brilliant; the added extra was just an extra cherry in a very rich song. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa I now must bow before you; that song was not only perfect for her; it is her. Its retro, but not. Its in your face and not. I want to ask if the band wrote these songs themselves, I know Jennie, wrote, or co-wrote Solo. Yeah, these were all fun and nearly landed me in a hyper-sensory shock-It’s a form of panic attack when they get too excited. Again, each one nearly did this.

So yes, this has been brilliant. They sung all the usuals, then they went back to the start; their first concert. See BLACKPINK and BLINKS can’t really be separated. BLINKS love the band and vice versa. This time with live music with accompanying them all the way through, now that; that was fantastic. I was stunned, as it just made it that more real. The only shame was that it was virtual, and I was missing the Bi-Ping-Bong, that one is on me though. I can’t get over the energy everyone had with no audience. I could feel it through the TV. It would be nice to see them Post pandemic in the UK.

See my issue is this… I can remember it all. There are restreaming this for two weeks (The next two Sundays). So I don’t want to spoil to much. So I will just leave it on these closing remarks.

The live band is brilliant they make the music come to life. The dancer’s, Crazy, I think they were called please someone correct me if it is wrong. I thought were going to be used sparingly or all the time. They weren’t when they came on you then remembered how big the stage was. Oh yes the stage, just a question where did the water and fire come from?  It was fantastic, every song everything changed. I knew they had to be quick changes, but these were quick.  I meant everything was breath taking. Now the actual band BLACKPINK, well… I am slightly biased; they were brilliant as always. The costumes were fantastic, although I want to know who design them… . As they were finishing off, I thought Rosé was going to cry… it wasn’t. You could see how much this pandemic has made everyone’s life hard, enough said I think.

So BLACKPINK were in your area in ‘THE SHOW’ they were everything and more. I know there is at least one music video to come (I am hoping it is coming out around Hanbok time). When it drops I will be ready. I don’t think I could have really wanted more; I know it was my first concert. In itself it was just magical. It could be a good year for BLACKPINK.

Thank you for reading this cryptic blog, without me trying to spoil what people could still see.

Please everyone stay safe, like if you enjoyed this, share if you want others to read this and comment if want to say anything.


Is University Meant To Be This Bad For Me?

I know, I know I disappeared pretty much for two weeks. I can explain.  I kinda got lost doing my university course work. All because there were some missing details, like the measurement we are counting in. It could of be seconds, elephants or even Dodos. So I have spent a lot of this racking my brain to make sense of all of this. I can’t say much detail because I am meant to keep what I have done in mine so no one can copy it. So all I can say is because of this I am twoish weeks behind blogging, script writing and everything else. Even a social life… if I had one.

My university work. Is all well in good, but and this is a big one…. I think. The issue I had if that all my lectures are neurotypically inclined. If I had known that. I would have little to no chance of meeting people like me, by that I mean young ish… who understand txt speak but use it to sound cool. The idea that the best way people listen is if we speak up as one voice. I mean some of this isn’t that new, you could go back to the 1920s and find some of these. The best way I can say it is this…

Every time a meet a new classmate and get talking. I have to mention that I have autism, it’s a bit obvious in person, I twitch, tic and look like I not paying attention when I am not in their way. I have been meant with the same three responses since I signed up. They are: That’s nice, I’m Sorry or that’s Alright my X is autistic, usually daughter or sister. Notice a trend? They are all very…. British. We either try to relate or we just don’t care. What happened to just understand that people that are saying they are autistic. Just want people to understand that they need more time to process, to that they don’t understand human emotions. I mean if there is one place that may deal with people on the spectrum it would be a Psychology class. Right?

I still think some of the worse people to talk about autism is the lectures, or at least the lectures I had. I had one who didn’t care, mainly because he thought that my world view was fascinating because a lot of social norms I had to be taught- so he gets a pass. I had one compare me to another student who had schizophrenia, umm I think that’s a little out of the idea of what autism is. Then I had one that didn’t believe that my autism included not understand human emotions. So apparently the emotions were happy, sad, annoyed, and petrified all in mix verity. There was around 24 of these, I got 2. Yes laugh it up 2. They were a happy and a sad. I thought the petrified one was having a heart attack. My lecture said they were easy. Everyone but me got almost all of them in one go. I tried to explain that my brain doesn’t process these emotions and it can be hard. With that I got some of the dumbest help in all of my time in education. For one of my assignment I was meant to be talking about a journey of a person becoming a refugee, using emotions as a core. I ask what they would be feeling as I can understand it but explaining it is harder. I got told they will be scared; do you understand that? They would also be happy but scared when coming to the UK. I asked how happy and scared could be a mixed emotion. I got told it just is. So that puts me on the spot and makes me look like I should even be doing a degree.

I like doing psychology. I know my specially is something else, but it is nice to learn something new and that can be a bit more useful.  If anyone is new, my specialty is sub-molecular nuclear physics. So how heat comes out of a black hole, how the reactions work within sun to produce tri stage heat source that brings heat, light about four different times of reaction all from process. The only thing it would be good for would be understanding a nuclear power plant. The issue is knowing how dangerous radiation is at a young age kinda put me of going in one, also leaning about Chernobyl would also do that. It always make me think that should I be doing my degree if people, including the lectures could be this backwards to me. This TMA is a good point of this. In all sciences you have a table in the results section this table at least somewhere is meant to contain the measurement of whatever it is you are measuring. From µseconds (micro-seconds) to days. If you have to make an educated guess in what you are presenting because someone else left things out. Then it good to have all the facts, if you are Autistic or not surely people care about getting things right?

Anyway to make up but also, just to keep things fresh. I will also be posting about the BlackPink concert that was today, it was good. that’s all you are getting until you look at my next blog.

Please everyone stay safe, like, comment if you have something to say and share if you want,.


Autism FAQs [Transcript]

What is Autism?

Autism is a developmental disorder. It is life long and it would have happened before being born, but you can’t just tell you need to be diagnosed, from the age of three to get an idea of where you are on the spectrum.

What is the spectrum?

The spectrum is split up into different areas depending on the result of your autism Assessment . The areas or labels are: Low functioning autism, Mild Autism, High Functioning Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome.  All of these make up the Autism Spectrum and these could be anyone, male or female.

How to get diagnosed?

Well that bit is simple. You have to ask for your GP for an autism assessment. Then when they finally say yes, you will given over to a psychologist who will  ask lots of questions over two to three days. Think of it as one big interview. The questions to see where you are on the spectrum are largely repetitive but does vary on age. So the test is not the same for a child as it is an adult.

Is there a cure?

There are two answers, both you may like or not like. One is long and the other is short.

So short answer: NO!

Long answer: Hell No! Who says we want a cure. We see thinks differently, we make crowds we don’t follow them. We are the thinkers-au natural.

What causes autism?

Well that is a vary debated topic. So as far as everyone knows we know nothing about where it comes from other then it happens either genetically or developmentally, during pregnancy, so considering we have known about autism for around 100 years. This isn’t a lot.

What is Neurodiversity and where does it fit in with Autism?

Well, firstly let me say that someone has done their homework. Good job me. So let me just split this then.

Firstly we have Neurodiversity, this is where lots of different disabilities have been put in one label called Neurodiversity. These include but doesn’t stop at: Autism, Down’s Syndrome, Bipolar, ADHD, ADD, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia and Tourette’s syndrome.

Secondly we have where does autism fit in. Well it does depend who you talk to. Some think it doesn’t really help more hinders and then there are the ones that like it because it a label that isn’t stigmatised yet but allow it to break the ice and get people on the topic of autism. Being neurodiverse doesn’t mean that they are autistic and being autistic doesn’t mean they like the term neurodiverse, I mean read my blog you will find enough prove there.

I will throw this in as well because I am a nice, caring, kind hearted Gecko. The opposite term for this is Neurotypical, this one is used a bit to liberally as it meant to mean people who aren’t neurodiverse but has gone on to mean people who aren’t autistic because we haven’t got an opposite word for autistic and apparently Normies is a bit offensive.

Are there any charities about autism?

Yes there are a lot of different charities, like Autistica, National Autistic Society, Autism Speaks and so many more, some are local charities whilst some are bigger national scale ones around your area. Of course you are always going to get some that may treat you or your area of the spectrum, but hey that’s life.

Are we all like Rainman?

Well I would really like to say yes, but alas we aren’t some are better, some are worse and some are even funnier. The truth is when you meet one autistic person you have met one autistic person.

So these are some of the Frequently asked questions about Autism. If you have any other questions please don’t be ashamed to ask. I may even add it to here

Here is the link for anyone who want to listen to the podcast episode: https://anchor.fm/allgecko/episodes/Autism-FAQs-ep201t

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