My Fight with Mental Health

*WARNING* Sensitive topics about mental health are in this. *WARNING*

So today is world mental health day, the 10th October. So let’s do something special! So I thought about my fight with mental health. So let be clear first, my fight is to get it heard, not with my mental health issues- mainly because I felt like I have talked about that, that’s one of my ‘rocky’ foundations.

Anyway I have been an advocate of being open and teach better mental health practices since I was 10, so for the people who want context, I’m now 21 so I have been trying to get heard for 11 years.

When I was in primary school, teachers thought I was being morbid because it wasn’t talked about in that part of school. Just because it looked bad for marks. That in it self is appalling, but what makes it worse is just that the school didn’t want to acknowledge that kids in their school are depressed, anxious or in some cases worse. As I wouldn’t be quiet and I was in a C of E school, Church of England for anyone who doesn’t know, the vicar kept an eye on me.

Then I tried again in secondary school. This is the one which I think is worse one so far, because they had the infrastructure and did use it- and here’s the catch, only with their grade B-A* students. No, they don’t grade them by look, I would call it slightly worse then  that. They judge them in primary school for where they fit in secondary then again in year 9 just before GCSEs, a exam which children do before they are allowed to go in to college then university. So I got judged in year 6 just before going into year 7. They knew I was very vocal, but found a good way of shutting me up. Just give me the help, until most of the class knows then take it away and so I have to figure that out, then when I do speak, know one cares- I have been taken care of. That took a few years to sort, but I tried where I could to speak up. Then when I spoke up fully, I was 15 by that point my own mental health had got worse and I was seen as the crazy person. This is where, I finally had an ace, my sport, I had somehow got good enough to go to national races, so this is where I decided to shout and I got listen to, but not completely, I got a shrug- it’s not the best, but it’s not the worse to me it was a start.

But I have to move over to college. This by far was the worse part, not for me but for everyone who was in college around me, I have ever come across! So within a period of two years. I think I heard of 5 suicides, 10 people self harming, 1 accidental death and 2 or 3 accidental injuries. So I’m a recluse and yet I heard about all of that! There must be so much more, there has to be more. So it gets worse. My college decided to celebrate there test scores and ofsted report, it like a school safety report, so that strangely ironic. That’s all because ofsted doesn’t measure things like students dying because school hasn’t helped. The counsellors there just mainly cared about themselves, so that makes people worse. Then every time I spoke about mental health I was told to be quiet, or I was told I was being stupid as no one would listen to me. That only got worse when I started talking about autism education rights, because my teachers didn’t know them. Then I started within the mental health services and got listen to so much I have now being helping with them in my area for now 4 years.  

So that was a very brief look in to my history with fighting with mental health and all the biases that came with it. I’m am still fighting for better care of mental health and for autism within schools, but also just in general.

If you want me to talk more about this like or comment. That way I know what people want to see.

Remember talking about mental health isn’t just for world mental health day.

Published by The Autistic Gecko

I am a blogger and podcaster who is on the Autistic Spectrum. I talk about Autism, Mental Health issues and anything that I think deserve a voice.

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