What anxiety can feel like- A day walkthrough. [Transcript]

Yes, I know this is a redo as a sound like a robotic penguin. So here is an updated version, hopefully the sound quaility is better.  I am going to talk about some frenqently asked questions people have for autistics/ people on the spectrum.  Hopefully it helps people. Please remeber to Like, share and follow AG:)
  1. Autism FAQs
  2. The Push Onwards
  3. The Year Summed Up
  4. Working in the Background
  5. What anxiety can feel like- A day walkthrough.

So I am talking about mental health, I thought I would go with one of the most common but also one of the most misunderstood conditions. Anxiety.

So let’s get it clear before I go any further. If you feel anxious sometimes then that is fine and natural. If you feel anxious all of the time then this is what I am talking about. Also, I will leave some links in the description just in case your want to learn more or find help yourself.

I’m going to talk about a day to day occurrences, but just remember other people experiences may be different. Also this is a work of fiction and is not based on anyone in particular.

You will wake up worried, scared of what the day has for you. Imagine waking scared, worried maybe even alone from the waking moment you feel nothing because you are to scare to.

Then you get dressed, but you can’t wear something you like, someone might ruin the idea of you liking it, then you think of what people you are with that day, so you do a compromise- 100% what they like and a smile.

Then you think how do I get there, to meet this person?

Drive? No, you may not understand the other drivers. If you can drive, if not.

Get someone to drive? No, you may not be able to trust the driver.

Public transport?

Train, not really if it is somewhere local.

Bus, maybe if you can make sure you don’t get a crowded bus full of loud sounds and weird smells.

Instead walk?

So, if it is raining you drive or get someone to drive you. If it’s sunny or cold, walk- it’s the best to trust ourselves then anyone else.

So you meet up with your friends.

You act neutral, you don’t want to alarm them- even though they know about you having anxiety, but they don’t actually know you have anxiety.

If someone walks towards you panic and think- what are they going to do.

In crowds it feels like your being smothered by the amount of people around you.

You dare not push past, just in case something- anything happens.

It’s then time to go home. It’s now getting dark so walking is not an option, in case someone doesn’t see you.

So you take the public transport, THIS time. You keep yourself quiet and don’t say anything or start any conversations, just in case things get awkward. Then you get off at the stop and walk the rest just checking no one has followed from the bus. You may cross the road a few more time just to check.

Then you get home, you talk to your friends to make sure they got back safe, just to hide that you want them to know you are home.

Skip a few hours

 It’s now bedtime. But you can’t sleep, there are to many things going through your head, like do my friends like me? Is my door closed/locked? What is that sound? Then you start relaxing each fear then you gradually fall to sleep hoping to wake up in the morning.

Then you will wake up worried, scared of what the day has for you. Imagine waking scared, worried maybe even alone from the waking moment you feel nothing because you are to scare to.

So this is a bit extreme in places, but I hope this gives a picture of how someone with anxiety deals with day to day life.

For help or support:

Mind: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/about-anxiety/

Kooth: https://www.kooth.com/

Published by The Autistic Gecko

I am a blogger and podcaster who is on the Autistic Spectrum. I talk about Autism, Mental Health issues and anything that I think deserve a voice.

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